Washington Post article

Posted on September 17, 2014 by Danielle!

After traumatic brain injury, a young man’s astounding recovery

<http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/after-traumatic-brain-injury-a-young-mans-astounding-recovery/2014/09/15/410ab5e8-26e6-11e4-8593-da634b334390_story.html?tid=sm_fb&gt;

My Response:
I also have a TBI from a car accident 17 years ago.  (Wow, 17! The anniversary accident just passed September 6) I was only 16 at the time, and was in an unconscious state and in ICU for 5 weeks at Fairfax Hospital, VA.  When I appeared to be in a more responsive stage of a coma, I was transported to Kluge Children’s Rehab Hospital in Charlottesville.  I also was in Physical, Speech, Occupational therapy there for 4 months.  I had the hardest time in physical, and sometimes even now sometimes people have a hard time understanding me.  I missed the rest of the entire school year, going to another rehab facility upon returning home from the Charlottesville hospital.  I slept at my home with my parents in Springfield while attending rehab at another hospital, Mount Vernon, to receive more therapy.   After five months, I was discharged and had outpatient physical therapy 3 times a week for another year.  I definitely know there are many differences in each individualized brain injury, how hard the road is to rehabilitation and am only thankful that my injury didn’t impact me more.  It is very uplifting to hear more success stories like mine!

Posted in inner reflection, Traumatic Brain Injury | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

happy

Posted on September 16, 2014 by Danielle!

…I hear everything you’re telling me, I know it’s hard, but what can you do about it now?  I want to SCREAM (if there is a real way to scream in a chat room)  So I’m here online in a chat room for TBI survivors trying to give off some positive vibes, but some people just like to dwell on the fact that it is hard, that things are not right in life.  GOOD MORNING, THINGS ARE NOT RIGHT IN LIFE! Get over it…learn acceptance and what you have the ability to do about it now- please don’t just sit there feeling sorry for yourself– please do something-ANYTHING about it/ with it/to it…YOU still have the power to change anything you want to change…it’s all about what we sit here so long trying to contemplate– ITS ALL ABOUT YOUR STATE OF MIND!

pos

This is exactly what turned me off to support groups during my rehab in 1998.  I found that the groups were a bunch of people sitting in a circle complaining about their conditions.  Saying nothing positive and leaving the group feeling even lower and more bummed out than before you came.

This is exactly the reason that I like the TBI support group at Fairfax Hospital.  This group has speakers most months, and on other months we go around the room discussing some of the problems we’re experiencing with others giving suggestions and spreading positive outlooks.  This group actually accomplishes something.  And I feel like I belong there.  There are others like me, people who look totally fine on the outside, but have/are experiencing some problems, and having to go to appointments and rehabilitation.  If we can ever find some free time in our busy schedules (I’m mainly talking about others, not me) or plan ahead of time we can get together for a doggie’s birthday party, or a yoga session once in a while.

My friend Lori reminds me though that people are busy, everyone has their own grown up lives, and the day to day events get in the way of socializing.  Not everyone has as much free time as I do.

Friends, now that we are out of school, and have our own lives, families, jobs to deal with, now only see each other one a month if we’re lucky.
I believe that people should try a bit harder to get together, try harder to be more social.
The world would definitely be a happier, more carefree place, with people smiling more sitting in the sunshine on a beautiful day.  Sunshine makes people happy so they smile more, smiling creates endorphins and endorphins makes people happy.

The world would be more of a happier place if we would just take time out to be with our friends laughing outside in the sunshine.  Hey, and maybe all this being outside and happy will make one want to run for a few minutes for exercise- and exercise is another endorphin producer.

Elle: I just don’t think that Brooke could’ve done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t. [Legally Blonde, 2001]

Posted in inner reflection, Traumatic Brain Injury | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Mindfulness

Posted on September 7, 2014 by Danielle!
You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can decide how you’re going to live now.
Joan Baez
OMG. So true.  I know how precious every single moment is, and knew then, ever since after my car accident, that left me with a severe traumatic brain injury.  At any second, everything could change- so we need to live life to the fullest every moment that we have.  Why spend another day at a job that you drives you crazy while you could be actively looking for a new one?  [But I’m not looking, I’m taking a little “sabbatical” from work while I figure out what it is that I’d like to do]  Why hang out with ‘toxic friends’ that influence and contribute to bad behavior?  Why live in a dangerous neighborhood, in a house that you do not especially like?  [I wrote the previous before I attended a ‘Trauma talk’ group today at Fairfax Hospital speaking on Mindfulness, to help reduce anxiety.]
[IMAGE TAKEN FROM A WEBSITE BY Barbara Ormsby,
THE SURPRISING SOURCE OF GREAT RESULTS: ATTENTION AND MINDFULNESS;
mindfulness_social-competence
 MINDFULNESS is the practice of being in the present, the practice of getting yourself centered by setting yout intention for the day, what you are trying to accomplish and thinking about the world around you, what is happening NOW.  Focusing on these things also improve your ability to interact socially with other people.  For example, today my husband and I went to a girl’s house that I met through my support group for a cookout.  I was nervous, not knowing anyone else there, and ate too many gummy bears.  By listening to my breath and calming down, I could have felt alot less stress in the whole situation, allowing me to more socially competent, and to enjoy the afternoon stress-free.  I had a great time there anyway, meeting new people and playing with the adorable dogs, eating delicious pulled chicken with a few too many cupcakes and the first football game of the season. [Sorry, Redskins, maybe we can get a win next time]***
Back to the meditation… Most often this type of meditation is practiced in yoga, the clearing of the clutter in the mind, in order to get yourself centered.  Forgetting the negative self talk that we so often tell ourselves in our head.  Getting away from the “would have, should have, could have” way of thinking; my Dad used to say “Woulda, shoulda, coulda, woulda ain’t never done nothing.”  Which is a way of saying don’t dwell on past, (which we so often do, and often wishing we could change our past).  And mindfulness is not thinking about the future, and what COULD POSSIBLY happen.  It’s going to happen anyway, no matter if we upset ourselves about it or not.***
Mindfulness is about keeping your mindset in the present; the past is behind you, why dwell?  The future will inevitably happen, why worry?  Instead, concentrate on the present, and how you can accept what is happening looking at the situation objectively and hopefully positively.  Mindfulness is simply a thought process used to calm a person down, and not a religion.  Although it is practiced in Hinduism, mindfulness was around long before that religion originated.  Hinduism practices yoga to an extreme, in which they believe that there is nothing but the present, the here and now.***
Mindfulness teaches us that we should be fully in the present, appreciating every moment that we have right now.  You never know how everything will turn out.  Your life could change in the blink of an eye.  When I was 16, I thought everything was great.  I was a cheerleader, ending the year of lifeguarding at the pool, and my biggest concern was what I was going out to do that Saturday night.  Little did I know that everything would change drastically in just a second.  I didn’t appreciate what I had until I didn’t have it anymore.  In just a split second, my entire life had changed.  Thank God I don’t remember the details of the car accident that morning (I don’t really remember anything for the next 2 months).  The car accident that I was in has left me with a Traumatic Brain Injury requiring me how to learn EVERYTHING all over again.  That Saturday morning, I was just trying to pull off my back handspring, and when I awoke from my coma, I was trying to strengthen my muscles to sit up in bed.  I didn’t appreciate the freedom I had before, the freedom to get around by myself, being independant, and I certainly didn’t appreciate the simple things like standing up.***
I could tumble (just barely), run around, jump, all while being captain of one of my cheerleading squads.  I could remember the words to cheers, I could remember formations and the stunts for my all-star squad, and in a blink I couldn’t do any of that.  I took advantage of being able to walk, write and read even being able to apply chapstick to my lips.  I recognized people, I just couldn’t remember the details (or I had a selective memory).  I even took advantage of my memory.  One thing that most people would not think a second about- most people except the ones who have had a TBI.***
Life is not a given.  You can’t be sure of what tomorrow holds. So appreciate the now and what you  do have currently.  In this moment, work on being in the present and appreciating everything, before you don’t have it anymore.   We need to be aware of your surroundings, and to be thankful for the blessings that are bestowed on our backs and the experiences that we are going through in the now- even if they are not the best experiences.  Try to learn from the hard times and be thankful for all the traffic on the road for teaching you patience, instead of getting frustrated and honking your horn.  I have learned to even thank God for having this car accident happen to me.  [Ironic, I know] Without this awful car accident, I would not have turned into the person I am today.  And I like the person I am today.  This car accident has taught me patience and compassion for interacting with other people; I remember how difficult it was to do everything quickly or even correctly.
Mindfulness, like yoga, meditation and the act of being is simply a state of mind.  And isn’t it all just a state of mind??
Posted in inner reflection, Traumatic Brain Injury, yoga | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Scrambled Brain Challenge!

Posted on August 29, 2014 by Danielle!

As most of you know, this page is called TBI triumphs! I have a Traumatic Brain Injury, which I have gotten from a car accident that I was in high school, 16 years old, 17 years ago. My friend, Kristin, who I met through the TBI support group that I have recently begun attending [it’s at Fairfax Hospital, every 4th Friday of the month; comment on here or email me if you’d like further information].  The Scrambled Brain Challenge, is for TBI awareness, you can learn more about this condition and donate money on the Brain Injury Association.  It’s fun to show your support by cracking an egg on your head and post it on facebook-   but if you don’t want to crack an egg, please go to BIAUSA.org and read about these injuries.  Brain injuries DON’T discriminate, and can happen to anyone.

 

There’s a cute video on  my Facebook page, Danielle Houston Karst,  Check it out! Scrambled Brain challenge!!

The anniversary of my car accident is coming up, on September 6, and it always makes me quite reflective.  Especially this year, it means that I have lived more than half my life with this injury.  I was 16 years old when this happened, and now it has been seventeen years.  I have lived longer as this goofy, clueless girl, looking through rose-colored glasses at the world and being abruptly awoken to reality.  I have learned that the world is harsh, people are not particularly accepting or kind to those who are “different” in any way, and can be difficult.  This can make it extremely challenging for all those with specific learning disabilities or other certain conditions.  Through rehabilitation, if anything, I was taught compassion, a deep empathy.  An empathy  for all beings, no matter the age, species (yes, I find myself shedding tears over helpless animals all the time), no matter what,
brain injuries don’t discriminate.

I have found that the harshness of life is easier to handle if you have a good positive base support system, like my husband or my parents, a super good friend who you can occasionally call when you’re in tears (people to listen to you whine).  If feeling so compelled, it may even inspire you to help others in the same type of situation, like it did me!  Writing is a very good way to share experiences to help others and to get the advice read and out there.  I have found writing to also be very cathartic, things just seem more real to me when they are written out.

The brain is such a complex organ of the human body, not a lot of people some brain areasreally recognize what functions of the body this switchboard really controls.  Yes, the brain is exactly like that, a switchboard that coordinates everything.  It tells the whole self how to behave, what to do and the emotions that it is to provoke.  The brain tells you to lift your foot, take a step and even wiggle your toes.  When one side of the body is more effected than the other, it means that the opposite side of the brain got hurt.  That’s the weird thing about it; every little area in the brain controls different things, not only the way we think, but our sense of smell, our sight and even our memories.  Sometimes they get restored, and sometimes they don’t.  Even with the elderly, some people acquire a neurological disorder, dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, which causes a person to get very disoriented and different behaviors are exhibited.  The brain is such a special organ, that creates all of this.  The brain is very complex, and a very important component to our everyday lives.  When the brain is injured, no matter the type of injury, it severely affects each individual person.  This injury changes the person, and they are no longer the same physically or mentally.   Though  ia traumatic brain injury is not always apparent on the outside, being called an invisible injury, it does affect the way a person thinks, speaks and moves.
[Above picture is taken from the Neural Networks of the Brain: http://www.willamette.edu/~gorr/classes/cs449/brain.html  go to this website to learn more of exactly how the brain works!]

It is almost better for my accident to have happened so early in my life, while my brain was still forming making it easier to learn how to get different parts of the brain to perform the same functions.  I learned different ways to adapt to form the outcome and image I wanted to project, that I was still me.  This was a difficult time in my life to undergo these changes.  High school is a difficult time for most people, though also a very fun time for many people also, myself included.  Before [so long ago], I was enjoying the life of being young, carefree, just worried about having fun.

This is part of the reason it upset me to watch myself do the Scrambled Brain Challenge.  Not because I was cracking an egg on my head, but because I saw how I really act, how I appear to others, and I didn’t like it.  I looked so different, different to myself as I had looked before, when I was “normal,” or pre-TBI.  Ya, ya Mom- I KNOW that high school was so long ago, but I still remember it!  The fun I had…the high school sadnesses over silly subjects, boyfriend troubles, balancing cheerleading practices/ phone conversations/ homework. Sneaking out at like 1am to TP boys’ houses… or taking friends over to a house that you’re dogsitting to party a bit and be somewhere without parents in the house… just memories that make you smile like that.

Was high school really that long ago? What have I done since I awoke from my coma all that time ago… I should have been in my junior year of high school, I went on after getting back from the hospital to redo my junior year, went to Prom with the greatest guy friend that I’ve known forever- he went to my elementary school.  That was wonderful, magical almost, I felt so extraordinarily happy.  I was there, at my prom, with all these familiar faces and close friends that I’ve known throughout the years.  And it also was a little sad.  Sad in the fact that a chapter had been closed in my life, but at the same time, another chapter had begun a few months before.  Maybe it was that completed that year of high school while I saw all of my ’99 friends leaving…all the fun in the actual year that I graduated, walked across the stage at graduation- seeing a big sign saying CONGRATULATIONS DANIELLE HOUSTON!! YOU DID IT!  And a whole big section of people  cheering for me!

This is part of the reason it upset me to watch myself do the Scrambled Brain Challenge.  Not because I was cracking an egg on my head, but because I saw how I really act, how I appear to others, and I didn’t like it.  I looked so different, different to myself as I had looked before, when I was “normal,” or pre-TBI.  Ya, ya Mom- I KNOW that high school was so long ago, but I still remember it!  The fun I had…the high school sadnesses over silly subjects, boyfriend troubles, balancing cheerleading practices/ phone conversations/ homework. Sneaking out at like 1am to TP boys’ houses… or taking friends over to a house that you’re dogsitting to party a bit and be somewhere without parents in the house… just memories that make you smile like that.  Sometimes I get sad feeling all nostalgic and whimsical. Yes memories are a great token from the past, but remember to “never let the past steal your future.”  (Interstate Van Lines building, in Springfield, Virginia)

 

[I’ve noticed this entry gets a lot more trafficc than others, but other posts are equally as awesome, try C’est la Vie to find out what happened, or any other page, go to the homepage and drag down, you may find something interesting to you!]

Posted in aging, inner reflection, Traumatic Brain Injury | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Under Pressure…

Posted on August 21, 2014 by Danielle!

“Under Pressure”

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streetsIt’s the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming, “Let me out!”
Tomorrow gets me higher
Pressure on people – people on streetsChippin’ around, kick my brains ’round the floor
These are the days – it never rains but it pours
People on streets – people on streetsIt’s the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming, “Let me out!”
Tomorrow gets me higher, higher, higher…
Pressure on people – people on streetsTurned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don’t work
Keep coming up with love but it’s so slashed and torn
Why, why, why?LoveInsanity laughs under pressure we’re cracking
Can’t we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can’t we give love that one more chance?
Why can’t we give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?..’Cause love’s such an old-fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

***This song sums up the mental breakdown that resulted in my resignation from working at the nursing home.  After working at the same facility for 9 years, I just loved the residents too much, and have this idea of how the quality of life for the residents is supposed to be like, and just getting beyond frustrated pouring myself into this work, and feeling like i get no return help.  But they’re doing fine doing things the way that everyone’s doing them…It was just me with the problem of things not going the same way they were before… but things never are truely the same way as they were before, nothing’s the same as it was yesterday, there are always different staff thrown into the mix, different behaviors, different moods of the family members, different residents on the Special Care Unit- DIFFERENT SITUATIONS that have been replayed over and over in my head until theres no room for anything else…   These types of things are what put me UNDER PRESSURE and make me feel like I should have a bed on the second floor.

Breathe in , breathe out.  But wait, I resigned right? So why am I still thinking about this? Why do I think about the residents past and present still?  Oh yeah, because I worked there for 9 years, and have cared and loved everyone.

It’s relaxation time- to get myself occupied in my own interests, what I like to do.  And just because I no longer attend an organized yoga class with other people, that doesn’t mean that I should just forget all of the yoga teachings, meditations and clarity of mind that yoga provides.   It is easier for me to practice in my own house anyway, taking it at my own pace, not to feel embarrassed when I fall out of poses due to my lack of balance- and enjoy the quieting of my own mind.  That’s the whole point of yoga, to provide balance- and not just the physical kind, balance between the mind body and soul.  Connecting with God and feeling at peace in the world, giving your soul true peace.  TRUE PEACE, not thinking about pressure (sorry David Bowie) but in peacefulness is where my heart should lie.

 

Posted in inner reflection, Traumatic Brain Injury, work, yoga | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

toxic thoughts

Posted on August 12, 2014 by Danielle!

This whole bible study I’m doing right now focuses primarily on toxic thoughts.  There are four common categories of toxic thoughts. These are negative, fearful, discontented, and critical. It tells me that chances are you are struggling with toxic thoughts in one or more of these four ways. Don’t let these toxic thoughts grab hold of you and consume you. The deeper you let them take root inside you, the harder they will be to shake off. Identify those thoughts and reject them today.

Ya, easier said than done…so I have a lot to work on internally.

And then there are cultural toxins (Toxin just meaning a bad thing) Cultural toxins are things like TV, movies, magazines, books…whatever; just media.  A realization hit me today, that my cultural toxin was actually an environment, was my work environment.  No, not because of all the residents, not because of the stresses of the job, just my coworkers.  Some of my nurse friends have reminded me that we’re “not here for the coworkers, we’re here for the residents.”  Point understood, its just infuriating that your main coworker has no respect whatsoever for rules, our personal lunch times (going away for OVER one hour [No Melanie, not with you, with Shah]). when activities are going on, he’s right there, but I feel like I’m the only one doing anything productive.  Like the attendance, looking for new programs on the www, and trying to organize.  But if you ask anyone of my coworkers, I’m sure that they would say the same thing about themselves.  Working at the nursing home is a high pressure job, and I quit because its about driving me crazy.  And no, I cannot just retreat into my [non-existent] office and not deal with the resident who has the problem, the CNAs and the family members who keep coming to me (because I have worked here for NINE years).  I should have listened to my Dad’s advice, “So quit,” when I was doing 15 hours of in services at home and complaining how I was not getting paid for it.
I did finally quit my job so why am I still thinking about it? to preserve my sanity.  I like to look at myself as my car accident and severe TBI as not having too much of an effect on me, but I’m just not sure when it comes to my stress level.  But does this traumatic brain injury make me paranoid? Or just insecure and cause me to over- analyze?  If you have any opinions, please comment- I’m really puzzled.

My mom would tell me that I’m fine, the stress of feeling that you’re pulling the other coworkers’ weight would be enough to overcome a lot of people.  But what if everyone thinks that who works in that nursing home?  What if I think that I care so much more about those residents than anyone else, and the coworkers actually care just as much?  What if I put in so much effort outside of work and constantly think of how to make life better for the residents?  Just because I don’t want to goof off with my BFF upstairs and actually care about second floor and all of the residents doesn’t mean that I’m thinking that I do a better job than any other coworker- it just drives me crazy.

But okay- I QUIT; (or resigned) SO COULD I PLEASE MOVE ON?  Be over with this craziness of getting my emotions too involved with everything.  take a deep breath, just stop.  Which toxin is the best to get rid? The work situation toxin.

I suppose there are a few other cultural toxins in my life, but it’s not like I’d just give up True Blood.

billsookie

 

 

 

Posted in faith, inner reflection, Traumatic Brain Injury | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

only thing constant in life

Posted on August 5, 2014 by Danielle!

letgo

It happened.  After 9 years…I must admit that it was hard, the hardest decision that I have ever made, and that there are many things that will be missed from the nursing home.

But this is after all, the first job from which I have ever resigned.  This was my first job in my professional career.  As is stated in the picture, there are many emotions coursing through my body right now.  Love, for the residents, reminiscent of all of the fun times and guilt, feeling guilty for leaving these residents.  But that is not a main reason to stay at a job that no longer suits the needs of my life.  I need a break, need a change, a change from caring too much.  Caring too much about the residents’ quality of life, and caring too much about my coworkers’ approach to working at the nursing home.  I feel that I care too much, and don’t like the changes that have been occurring within the nursing home.

A friend says that its good, ready for a new chapter in my life.  When one door closes, another will open, turn the key, let your troubles out.  Just keep on tryin’ and workin’ and hopin’, you’ll have no time to sigh or pout.  When one way says no, another says go, just look within and never doubt.  When one door closes another will open, that’s what life is all about. 

I never thought that a song that I had learned in elementary school could give me such comfort later in life.

It is hard, but just as my friends and parents have told me, leaving is a good thing, there were too many changes going on causing unnecessary stress, and I just need a change.  That doesn’t mean that I will forget the residents or not visit, I don’t think they can ever keep me away from that nursing home.  And I will continue to work in this field, I just need a little time off from all the stress that come along with a job like this.  Maybe a change in priorities for a little while.  Maybe a chance to write that book that I’ve been talking about writing for the past 10 or 15 years.

Change, change is hard, but it is the one constant thing in life.

Posted in inner reflection, work | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

LGO

Posted on July 9, 2014 by Danielle!

Life Goes On…C’est la vie…sit back, breathe and look at the big picture. Realize that everything is not centered around this subject and thus is life- life goes on. Deal with it, cope and perhaps even turn this negative into a positive. See the roses among the thorns.  My mom tells me that if I cut off the old, withered dried up dead roses on the rosebush outside my house, new fuller roses will grow.  This is a bit of a simile to life…  Things are tough, especially at this time of my life; I know people keep telling me that this is a time of transition, a time to sit back and relax, only I wish I could.

I thought at first I had this whole thing figured out, upon getting a reduction of hours at work, I would have more time to breathe, for yoga, and exercising.  Ya, I got the breathing and exercising down.  And I suppose I can do the yoga videos at home, the classes were getting a bit too expensive anyway.  Especially without earning the extra income from work.  I can get social stimulation not from interacting with people that you take a class with and get 3 minutes at most to talk.  I can visit neighbors, make dates with old high school friends.

My wonderful husband made a very good point on what else I should do with my time: read more of the Bible.  I have more time to devote to God, whether through prayer, crocheting prayer shawls for my church, or spending time with Him in devotion. There are online Bible studies that I can take, and I can read books with my free time.  And with the extra free time means more time I could dedicate to my church.  Get involved in the some other types of ministries.

I am involved with a brain injury support group now, meeting at Fairfax Hospital, the fourth Friday of the month.  I have always been a bit embarrassed about my brain injury, trying to pretend that it never happened, or that it just happened so long ago that it doesn’t matter.  But it did happen, and it does matter.  Yes, it’s amazing how much I have improved, that I got so much better than the state I was previously in, that I went to college and lived away from home, WITHOUT MY PARENTS for four years, which was extremely difficult so shortly after my accident (3 years after).  My parents were (and still are, part of) my entire support system- going away to school and functioning on my own was so hard.  And then, after being away for all that time, I returned home for 4 more years before my wedding. AND WHAT A CHANGE MY LIFE HAS TAKEN!

I am a lot happier, more carefree, it’s just that when I go to work, I dread it.  But once I’m actually with the residents, I love it!  If I forget about the coworkers, the politics and the attitudes of the CNAs.  Going out to lunch without me, (I know I need to be saving money, but it its hard when I don’t even get invited, OR EVEN TOLD THAT THEY’RE LEAVING!)  Taking over an hour for lunch break?  Not even telling the work partner that you’re leaving or going upstairs?  Seriously?  My lunch break gets cut short because there’s not another person to help.  Well, whatever…there’s no need to dwell.  Kay Sera, sera, right?

 

Posted in faith, inner reflection, Traumatic Brain Injury, work, yoga | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

crossed wires

Posted on July 5, 2014 by Danielle!

Communication abilities (dogs, babies and old people)

A baby can incoherently babble, and a dog can growl or nip, but don’t speak the same language.  An old person afflicted with dementia are sometimes beyond the power of speaking, and unable to communicate at all.  Even people who have undergone a horrific accident and are now unable to speak coherently still try to communicate, only it is not physically possible.  No matter what the situation we are in, we must all have thoughts going on in our mind while we are still breathing.

My personal experience with a TBI, even when in a comatose like state, heart monitors or brain monitors are hooked up, and when it shows activity, you know that the person feels something; excitement, joy, anger or confusion.  The heart monitors raced when my then boyfriend held my hand and spoke softly in my ear and when my good friend played music of a band that we had just seen in concert a few weeks before I was in my car accident.  I showed agitation in the pool at the children’s rehab center that I was staying in, and other times during that week before I “woke up” (fully and came out of my coma).  I know what it’s like to not be able to communicate verbally or express to others what you need.  The therapists at the children’s rehab hospital made a communication board for me, it had the words ‘bathroom’ ‘yes’ ‘no’ posed in stop and go signs.  It also served the purpose of a lap desk, so I could manipulate objects, or try to write on it.  I was searching online and couldn’t even find an example of a communication board, everything has gone ‘digital,’ so technologically advanced.  When I was in the process of waking up, the therapists gave me paper and a pen in order for me to write, only my handwriting was nearly indecipherable being so big and messy.  And my parents told me later that I didn’t like using the communication board, I tried to express things verbally or through a sign language that I  made up.  A lot of communication is non verbal, leading by intonation, or tone of voice and through body language.  While in the comatose state, a therapist would have me smell different herbs and I would make faces or scrunch my nose up if I thought the smell was bad or too powerful.  My speech therapist had also taught me to blink once for yes, twice for no.  That seems to be a universal communication code, because while talking to residents in the nursing home, I have also used this technique, and I can tell that the nonverbal residents are familiar with this.

Older people have the same communication problems as people that have had a traumatic brain injury.  Due to some of the conditions that the residents in a nursing home are in, especially on the floor of the nursing home on which I work, the Special Care Unit, have lost facial expressions and voice intonation, in addition to some cognitive abilities.  It took about a year for me to regain those actions.  Or just finding the words to express what that person needs is an issue for many.  On the other hand, babies or dogs can’t verbally communicate.

Babies must use body language, clapping and smiling with their toothless faces, or crying to be comforted by only their mother.  Dogs on the other hand, are not like people, and have no way communicating their wants, needs or feelings.  If a dog were bothered, there’s no gentle way to tell the person to ‘Get away, I’m not in the mood’ other than verbally growling or nipping.  What if that dog was a rescue dog, and didn’t know how to properly make a soft growl at a baby as a warning, so he nipped at that baby?  Maybe I’m just trying to make up excuses for my dog.  But now he’s learned his lesson, when baby comes around, he just jumps off the chair and heads towards the table looking for more Cheerios to devour.  Even though there’s a communication clash and wires get crossed between beings, we can eventually be understood if we are patient and calm enough to look at all of the components of communication.

Sorry baby Elana about Chazz scaring you and pawing at your face!

ch2

 

Posted in inner reflection, nature, Traumatic Brain Injury | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

believe

Posted on June 27, 2014 by Danielle!
If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.

Mahatma Gandhi

 

Yes, there must be a belief in yourself, but ultimately remember:

Through God, all things are possible.
Matthew 19:26

And I believe that this is how I came through my car accident so successfully.  There were people all around the state praying for me, the church that I belonged to, my extended families’ churches, churches I have never attended and the religious groups in my school, everyone in my community.  I strongly believe in the power of prayer.

And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive if you have faith.
Matthew 21:22

God heard those prayers; I doubted his existence since he had let this happen, and I just knew I had to try very hard to get better.  Even though it was so hard, so painful, even though I had wanted to cut my arm off [my left arm was curled up with so much tension that it physically hurt], I kept trying and sweating.  It was me trying and sweating, but in hindsight it was God who gave me the willpower to go on.

prayer

 It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.
Psalm 118:8

And I need to remember not to take everyone else’s advice entirely too seriously.  Throughout the years I have received much advice on how to act, what to do and what to feel.  It has made me feel really bad, insecure and paranoid, and it hurts too much to care about what other people think.  I am journaling, and journaling constructively, I did learn that through some therapists in my past.  I read books by doctors of psychology, when I feel compelled or am in a hard place.  I’m not going to go to therapy.  I can handle this myself, and even my neighbor said that I can just talk to a friend, I don’t need to pay someone just to listen to me.  Sure, they may give me helpful suggestions, but I just can’t afford it.  I feel guilty spending money on things I’m not sure that I need.  My husband’s always willing to listen, and there’s my mom, trusted neighbors.  It is hard not to look towards myself, but towards the Lord, when He is an invisible entity, and a person cannot visually see him, but only through the action that are a product of his being.

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
Phillipians 4:13

Always remember how far you have come, and never doubt how far you can go…

karst-danielle-after-tbi

.

 

 

Posted in faith, inner reflection | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment