Some people call it anxiety. Some people call it the inability to let go of the past. I call it NOT FUN.

Not relaxing. Not being whisked off to a blissful state of mind. Not enjoying that re-energizing couple of hours before waking and ready to tackle the day.

Since my car accident happened with the result being a brain injury, I haven’t been dreaming too much, At first when I was in the hospital, it was like a couple hours of nothingness, I’d wake up with energy- just not super excited energy. And a few years ago I started wearing a Fitbit- which tracks your sleep cycles- and the part that calculates the REM (OR DREAM) cycle of sleep reported me very low
[like 3% of my time asleep is spent in dreams while the average person is dreaming for 20% if the time]
on an average of other women my age…
MEANING I DON’T DREAM MUCH AT ALL- even now 22 years later

I have a hard time staying asleep and stopping my mind from going down the

what happens down that rabbit hole? I think I just get into the land of

WOULDA…
COULDA…
SHOULDA…

IF ONLY…

Past regrets…

What if? This isn’t the way it should be-

..This is nothing new, it is what I have been struggling with for most my life, and so I can just leave it all in God’s hands, not fret about what I cannot change, do what I can and know that God is always there to guide me to know the difference

..And then since its OCTOBER

and suppossed to be SPOOKY

I’ve been watching shows on the TRAVEL CHANNEL about Spooky Haunted Towns, and Ghost Adventures, and have been trying to get myself into the correct headspace for the season

YAY-SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS! save the date…definitely excited for the debut of the new show GHOST NATION with the trio of Ghost Hunters that got me addicted into this paranormal fun-ness…

…watching spooky tv programs
keeps me away from thinking of
20YR HIGH SCHOOL REUNIONS
and then all the mistakes that I’ve made in my past- and so then the spooky tv programs haunt me and I have to stay up longer—

BUT I LOVE IT!!!