Thankfulness for each day

Each day, if we pause we could see that there is something for which to be thankful, something that deserves gratitude and appreciation.  Even if this is as small as being able to feel the warm blankets over top of us, going downstairs to get a cup of coffee and to take that cute little dog on a walk, being able to wake up, being able to move and to be aware, able to have a rational mind in which to think.  Being able to breathe, and to walk unassisted, these are all things most of us take advantage.

In everything, be thankful. Be grateful that you are in a situation as fortunate as the one you are in.  The simple act of being thankful can change everything; if your mind state is grateful, then it will change your life and give you a sense of optimism.  Through being optimistic, it is empowering your whole being to fight, not to give up, and possibly achieve more than ever thought possible.

Just think of one possible thing to be happy about and thankful for and it will brighten your day!

Especially when you’re having a hard Monday, and feeling all depressed, that’s when it’s time to reflect, and push the thankfulness up to  your heart.  I love being thankful for Mondays because the whole week is an open book to be done with it as we will.  Writing lists to accomplish always provides a great feeling, checking off the list of accomplishments feels even better. Continue reading

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I don’t want to grow up

34.

34 years old and not wanting to age, not wanting to be older.  When we’re in our 20s, all we want to be is be recognized as old enough to be ‘legal’.  It’s only when you try to flash some ID to the grocery store check out guy and he laughs and says ‘oh, I believe that you’re old enough’ with a laugh that he can’t quite suppress (probably due to the fact of my husband’s balding head) and being called “ma’am” a few too many times *I know it’s a sign of respect and an acknowledgement that I’m married, but still!*

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My former guidance counselor from high school goes to my church, and he said something to me a few Sundays ago that made me very happy.  When I told him about my writing a blog to get started in the literary world, and I said that there’s one particular entry that I’d like him to read, about my accident and what lead me to this, he said ‘Oh. That thing that happened so long ago,’ and acted uninterested.  It was a long time ago, but it was also difficult for me to write.  I had always pushed it aside, and tried to concentrate on how I could better my life.  The statement that my guidance counselor said to me in passing almost was freeing, in a way; it made me feel good that it was so long ago, it’s almost as if I am a different person.  I am a different person in so many ways.  I have had so many ‘real’ experiences since then, experiences at the end of high school, in college, emerging in the real world and in life.  My car accident shaped me, molded my personality and values.  I would not be the compassionate, dedicated  person that I now am had that difficult time not been put on me.  My accident and the rehabilitation associated with it was a definite burden, sure, but one that I could and did overcome.

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All that time at rehab, sleeping over in the inpatient hospital, gave me a sense of the ‘fun’ that could happen from going shopping at the mall on a weekend with my other friend who was in the hospital and on the weekends my cheerleader friends and all the other friends I had came to visit me was great.   The recreation assistants at the Charlottesville hospital  would make walking back and forth in the pool and other mundane tasks fun and social.  At the inpatient day program when I was sleeping at home, the fun would be getting together with my friends (patients) there on the weekends to go to a movie, or just acting goofy with other patients on a bouncy ball during a balance group therapy session.  Going out to the movies as part of my therapy, purchasing the tickets MYself, and ordering for some popcorn, searching for a place to sit with my Occupational Therapist.    This is what has made me want to become a therapist, and what better therapist to be than one who concentrates SOLEY on recreation?  Ways to have Fun, that was my major in college, Therapeutic Recreation.  It shaped what I want to do with my life.  I will continue living my dream, after I fulfill my dream of recording my adventures and experiences.

My car accident has let me meet a more diverse group of people, more diverse than before my accident.  I am no longer wrapped up in all that I once was. I am more accepting to people who are different than I am, and have other interests, GROWN UP interests.    Now I plan social outings with people who have hard times socializing in a public situation, those who have physical/cognitive impairments (though you would never tell by looking at them), and those isolated from others due to caring for young children.  I have taken leadership roles in groups at my church, Prayer Shawl Ministry who has helped me more easily relate to older, more mature adults. People in all different walks of life, retired, working, parents of young kids, and parents of older ones.  I have participated and led Bible studies in which I interact with people in different walks in life, parents, singles, young adults and recent college graduates.

This is what I am thankful for; I am thankful for the opportunity to be more, to do more, and to have much more living ahead of me.  Sure, I may already be 34, but I am only 34, and I have a world of possibilities ahead of me, and to look forward to, the opportunities are truly endless.

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practice the change YOU want to see in the world

From an article found on DOYOUYOGA.com

Here are 5 easy and fun ways to bring mindfulness into your life.

1. Give thanks.

An attitude of gratitude is one of the greatest predictors of overall happiness. I have been keeping a list of “really good things” for years, and it has changed my life. Being mindful of what we are thankful for is also a great way to bring our attention to the moment and to what is in front of us.

Hence the “thankful thursdays”; this practice is wonderful for anyone struggling with depression from a traumatic accident, or just ANYONE!  It’s all a state of mind.

2. Notice details.

Notice the scent of your partner’s shampoo, the colour of the sky, the smell of the rain of the earth beneath your feet. Feel the solid ground and the texture of the sand or the grass. Notice the air on your skin, the texture of a petal. Stop and smell the flowers, literally.

Be aware, and appreciative, even of the little things in life.  As in photography, another form of art that I intend on practicing; it’s all about attention to the little things often missed.

3. Savour food.

Eating is a joy and a necessity! However, preparing meals can often feel like a chore, and we eat in a rush. Try slowing down and savouring the experience. Prepare food with love, then sit down to eat and really taste your food. Doing the dishes brings the meal to a complete end.

We can all be foodies in this way!  Again, its about the appreciation of the process, and the end result.  I try to cook dinner with my husband most of the days, it’s fun, an activity we both enjoy, and ultimately brings us closer.  Now that’s therapeutic recreation!  Even if I’m feeling a little down, preparing sugar cookies, or another tasty treat, helps me to not only get my problems off my mind, but also feel productive.   

4. Celebrate moments.

Be in each moment completely. If you are sitting with your partner, turn off your phone and be there. If you are reading to your kids, do so without running your to do list through your head. When you are at work, focus on your tasks wholly, without wishing you were somewhere else. When you’re not at work, let go of all the stuff that’s waiting to be done. Be present. Celebrate each moment.

It’s the mindset of yoga, to be fully present, to be in the moment.  Only when we clear our minds of everything else do we tend to really enjoy what is happening.  We only live once, this moment is quickly gone, and what a waste to think that this could have been so much more.  

happen

Plus, I find it really helps with my ADD to focus fully on the one task at hand.  If really having a problem focusing try repeating to yourself the task, (like empty the dishwasher) and you’ll find yourself feeling much more productive if you just stick with it.

5. Be loving.

Love is the magic ingredient in everything, so give love in all that you do. Work with a loving heart and take loving steps towards your dreams. And love, love, love your people. Through giving love, you’ll feel your heart expand.

Love makes the world go ’round.  Just remember to love with your whole heart in all that you do, and it will always be enough.

love

 

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laugh at yourself

Gratitude as a discipline involves a conscious choice. I can choose to be grateful even when my emotions and feelings are still steeped in hurt and resentment. It is amazing how many occasions present themselves in which I can choose gratitude instead of a complaint.
Henri Nouwen

Let me set the scene: it is a Friday at 2pm. My friends drive to a Dunkin’ Donuts after our Traumatic Brain Injury support group meeting.  Acing as my usual distracted, absent-minded cheerleader self (in a very positive way), I ordered my drink and CRONUT [a delicious croissant/donut hybrid] and was just having a good time with friends talking and laughing. I must have been acting a little goofy, because as I sat down at a table, the cashier guy asked my friend if I had been drinking, she was like, “Ya, you just made a drink for her…” and he said No, and made a hand gesture like I was drinking alcohol and was intoxicated.

Me, Lori, Rob and Kristin at Dunkin Donuts- (taking the picture DAVID)

Me, Lori, Rob and Kristin at Dunkin Donuts- (taking the picture DAVID)

Obviously I hadn’t  been drinking!  I’m just goofy like that!  Because of my traumatic brain injury, my speech is delayed as are my movements.  I get distracted easily, and although my walking has gotten a lot better than before, my gait is easily swayed or my hips move funny.  I look almost completely “normal,” it’s just little delays here and there.

I can still choose though, I can choose to laugh or to be insulted.  I make light of the situation because I know that I’m not drunk; I know that I’m just having a good time with friends.  As long as YOU know that you’re OK, your friends know- it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks.  You can be thankful for still being here, grateful that you still have your life no matter what small problems you have.  At least you can still laugh at your self.

Me and Kristin :)

Me and Kristin 🙂

 

 

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Carpe Diem

Death can come at any minute, in any way. We do not know what is in store tomorrow, or, whether there is a tomorrow, or even a tonight! But still, we have the golden present. Now we are alive and kicking. What should we do now? Love all, serve all.
-Sri Swami Satchidananda

carpediem

CARPE DIEM! Yes, live each day of life to the fullest.  In Bible study last night, we were saying that worship should not only be done on Sundays.  Why not make each day devoted to God and His works?  Find something that you are passionate about, and you can transform it into a profession.  Besides providing me with a great testimony, my car accident has helped me to realize my passion, and turn it into my work.  Serving God by serving others is the motto of ministry at Messiah United Methodist Church, where I attend.  My passion is to help others, and a way that I can do this is using my Therapeutic Recreation degree in a nursing home type setting.  I have found that there is a great advantage to living each day to the fullest, and not put off anything that you want to do until tomorrow. I can help others accomplish this also, by providing meaningful activities in which the residents in a facility can participate.  Who knows if there will even be a tomorrow?  CARPE DIEM and live each day as it is your last; do not take advantage.

Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.
Mahatma Gandhi

I can say now that there is a pause in my life, a discontent.  My purpose does not feel fulfilled.  The friends that came to live with me while transitioning from another country back to the U.S. , have moved to their apartment in Alexandria.  Erin returned their key to me yesterday. During the month that Erin and Elena were staying with us, I would play with Elena, crawling through her tunnel with her,acting goofy to make her laugh, orgainizing blocks and her favorite pastime: reading books and looking out the window.  We went to the Cherry Blossom Festival in DCwpid-20150411_105123.jpg, and had authentic Japanese food.

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Although Elena is 20 months old, we would go on walks with my dog through the neighborhood, and Elena would cry if it was a sunny day and I was taking Chazz out.  There were days that we would play at the park across the street with other kids, go out in my backyard; Elena loves taking my white, decorative rocks inside the house with her. The government plans to release Erin’s possessions from wherever they have stored the furniture soon, and I have promised to weed through them with her, and getting rid of the objects that are not needed.

Erin and Elena with Bri and Kessler

Erin and Elena with Bri and Kessler

I have been looking forward for their stay for so long, now that yesterday is gone and they have returned their key, I don’t feel as if there is much for me to do.  Sure, I’m helping my neighbor, Briann out and watching her son tonight while she is at a meeting, though they are leaving tomorrow.  They are staying with Bri’s parents while her husband is attending military training in Texas.  I am also writing, but that doesn’t pay the bills/barely gets acknowledged by anyone.  Writing is more of a form of therapy for me and my Mom calls it, ‘more of a hobby,’ although I hope it helps others in a similar situation, or wanting to know more, too.

Through my car accident I have found that I have great people skills; I love interacting and helping people with any difficulties, and my choice of profession reflects that.  For years, I have worked as an Activities Assistant, with older adults that need my help.  When someone else needs your help and attention specifically, the feeling of being needed is very gratifying.  Just as listening to family members’ grieve, I can also be someone with whom to relate.  I have done this previously, and I will again.  I have decided that I will apply for a job, or volunteer until I find a position where my skills can be utilized.  I can provide the witness of my life to others, and let the family members know that I understand living in an inpatient facility and am working to make the lives of those loved ones more enjoyable.  When the residents get upset about living in a home, not being able to drive anymore, depending on other people to do something as simple as going to the bathroom or  the lose of independence, I can definitely relate.  For this reason, it is important to remember to be in the present, enjoying all the abilities that you possess right now, because all can be lost in the blink of an eye.

Horace, a Roman lyric poet, is quoted as saying, mindfulness of our own mortality is key in making us realize the importance of the moment. “Remember that you are mortal, so seize the day.”

A sundial inscribed with Carpe Diem, reminding us that every moment is precious and not to be taken advantage

A sundial inscribed with Carpe Diem, reminding us that every moment is precious and not to be taken advantage

 

 

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high noon

It’s noon time today, and I am out on one of my favorite tasks, the walking of my dog.   I haven’t seen  the sun shining so beautifully in like forever; this just makes me think of spring in all its glory.

My hubby, with Chazz amongst the beautiful green!

My hubby, with Chazz amongst the beautiful green!

The weather is beautiful… and spring has finally blossomed once again.

I was so excited Saturday morning, the beginning of the weekend, when my husband and I went off to Dunkin Donuts to pick up some cronuts for ourselves and our houseguests.
If you have not before heard of a cronut, it is just a simple twist on the croissaint and being shaped like a donut with a delicious honey glaze.  I took a bite, and I think it wpid-20150404_123239.jpgmust be something sinful!  I pick it apart, because (duh!) it has layers, its a croissaint, but not like one, because its sweet like a donut.

Let me tell you about these cronuts,  they had peeps- yes, those little marshmallow puffs of sugar coated artificially colored deliciousness on top of them!!  Talk about a major WOW factor!

Taking our dog Chazz out on a walk that morning, was yet again beautiful signs of spring… green buds emerging from the twigs that have managed to make it through the winter.  I mean, it IS already April, there should be signs of spring, all around us, only those darn cherry blossoms on the Tidal basin in Washington DC have not yet emerged!  Which is a terrible predicament to be in,  as the cherry blossom festival is on this Saturday April 11.  I feel somewhat responsible as a Northern Virginian resident for nearly 3 1/2 decades [born and raised!]

We may wonder and be upset over the weather, but Mother Nature has ways which are unknown… and the best things are worth waiting for!

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What is the definition of perfect? Being without flaw? Is that something real to expect?

Your perfect is different than my perfect. My perfect is different from my Grandmowpid-20141215_083739.jpgther’s perfect. Oma’s perfect is different from my mother in law’s perfect.  It’s all about perception.

What is my perception of perfect? Why am I so obsessed with it?  The cookie cutter family.  Getting everything exactly right.  Coloring within the lines; making the best, thinnest, greatest tasting sugar cookies, that are decorated exquisitely.  [Sugar cookies are like my “thing“.] The perfect sugar cookies are all so difficult to attain to my brain-injured self.  It takes me extra long to do anything and everything, but I stay up hours upon hours trying to make it all “just so”.  It takes 3 hours to prepare the perfect sugar cookies, and I only get 26 of them (more depending on the size and shape).  By the end of the creation, I am almost too tired to enjoy giving them away.

I seem to remember always being this way; I don’t think that my obsession with perfectionism began just after sustaining a traumatic brain injury, it had to have always been there.  It is a possibility that my injury exasperated the desire.  Right after my traumatic brain injury, I wanted to show everyone that I was still ok, thereby feeling the need to do everything perfectly.  I supose because it was so apparently obvious that I had been in a severe car accident (wheelchair, and intonation of speaking) I had wanted everyone to know that I could still do everything, but I think even more so now that you can’t tell I had ever gotten hurt, I want to  make sure everything is perfect.

wpid-20150204_222948.jpg But not everything must be perfect, I have learned that if I’m not as meticulous about the preparation of the sugar cookies, they don’t take as much time to prepare, it is more relaxing to produce, they taste exactly the same and they are consumed at just the same rate.

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Not everything in life always needs to be perfect.  And perfect is different to every person.  If perfect is somebody who is found physically attractive, an anxious worried frowny face may not be found particularly attractive to anyone at all.

Always remember to stay true to your self; instead of your idea of perfect.


Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. ~Confucius, Analects

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beautiful spring, or hopes

spring

Today I am thankful, on this THANKFUL THURSDAY for being able to have all the windows open in my house.  Airing this place out, being able to breathe the air outdoors and getting outside to walk my dog, having the sun pouring over my face.  We have gone through daylight savings time [thanks Ben Franklin ;)] and the sun stays bright in the sky for a longer amount of time now- it doesn’t get dark as early in the day.  It was beautiful outside only the day before yesterday, beautiful enough to be outside in short sleeves and not wearing the long sleeved fleece jacket that I must wear today.  Chazz doesn’t even need a jacket though, he’s just pimpin’ his St. Patti’s Day scarf (b/c its ALWAYS lucky in March!)  Today, as we were strolling down a path in the woods, I noticed a clump of green roots trying to make it’s way up to grow in the sunlight.

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Inspired by friends Erin and elena 🙂

Just the thought of spring, the beginning of the warm weather, and being able to enjoy the outside once more, listening to the birds sing beautifully outside (and Taylor Swift) lazily reading a book as a reward for cleaning house all day is wonderful.  How often do we take advantage of the simple things that God bestows upon us.  We won’t even remember this glorious feeling tomorrow through the snow/rain showers, though those green aspiring flowers spotted in the ground during our walk will certainly have forgotten.

*DISCLAIMER: officially this post IS written on a Thursday, it just got published a few minutes late…

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Wow.  So Chris (Prince Farming) chose his Princess.  But that’s not the big deal; the big deal is the Bachelorette spinoff. This season, beginning May 18 MY BIRTHDAY! 2 BACHELORETTES will face-off (2 will enter, but only 1 will remain) [KATELYN the favorite who was stood up after the honeymoon suite episode- dumped for the virgin who “I don’t know” about anything; vs. BRITT wait; I thought no one liked her either…maybe just none of the girls, but maybe she was still a fan favorite for the guys]  So, as batchelor-obsessed as I am; I of course had to DVR the Jimmy Kimmel follow up episode [AFTER THE after the final rose]

princefarming

Jimmy Kimmel has appeared on a bachelor date in the past, showcasing Chris Farming and KATILYN (all 3 in a hot tub!)’

[Please excuse the lateness of this post; the Bachelor finale was a week ago, but there has been much gossip going on]

OK, ARE WE REALLY SERIOUS THAT A COUPLE IS TO GET MARRIED AFTER 2 MONTHS OF DATING, AND NOT EVEN DATING MONOGAMOUSLY, but it’s down to a group of 3 girls IN THE FANTASY SUITE? Well, whatever…

I guess that’s why there are mixed gossipy articles, but who to believe PEOPLE magazine (a very reliable source/ magazine to which I even subscribe) or celebdirtylaundry.com and the other gossip magazines that you see at the checkout lines of the grocery store?  It’s hard to say, while the first source says that they are ‘Ready for life on the Farm!’ or ‘Won’t get married, living separate lives and only in it for the fame?’ or ‘Will Whitney turn in to Andi Dorfman and try to land another TV show or use her “Bachelor Fame” to pimp out products on Twitter?’ Let us know what you think in the comments below!

OK- Andi Dorfman got chosen to be the next Bachelorette, but we all know how that relationship flunked.  But I guess only to be expected, not all Bachelor romances can be like SEAN and CATHERINE and be all fairy tale romances (Sean’s season was  the season me and hubby got hooked)

BUT back to the Chris Soules controversy, I’m willing to bet they’re all good; The celebdirtylaundry site kept putting all these pop ups and making my computer run slower. However, it doesn’t seem like they’re dead set on staying together.  People is reporting that the couple has not spent a long time living together (how could they when they were only allowed to live together since ‘After the Final Rose’ debuted?  Whitney even states that she is not selling her place in Chicago, and that her job at the fertility clinic is offering her a lot of flexibility and letting her work from anywhere.  She has no plans to quit her job, and talks about her being 100% in with her work and her friendships.  Will she really be happy living on a farm, having no job and forming a close friendship with a cow?

Speaking of cows, Jimmy Kimmel gave a very thoughtful engagement gift to Prince Farming and his Princess: a cow named Juan Pablo.  It was so funny to see the host, Chris Harrison tell Juan Pablo “Its okay”

cow

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TODAY IS THANKFUL THURSDAY!  And today I am THANKFUL for good friends!

Friends that can sit on SKYPE and talk for over an hour while I’m still in my pajamas!

19 month old friends with strawberry blondish curly hair stuck in a ponytail that make their enormous adorable toothy smile  look that much cuter!

Friends that have not talked with in 20 years, who still remember you as a 7th grade cheerleader!  YES JENNY SWEENY!!

Canaan competition, 1994

Canaan competition, 1994

All the Springfield All-stars! who I know I could randomly call on (even though not seeing in 10 years or more) and it would be just like yesterday!

Friends who write books on the New York Times bestseller lists, which I received an UNCORRECTED PROOF advanced copy in the mail by signing up to write a book review [Of which I TOTALLY need to get finished reading & writing!] Also a cheerleader friend, SARAH McCOY!

The Mapmaker's Children by Sarah McCoy

The Mapmaker’s Children by Sarah McCoy

 

Friends getting together at Bible study to delve into the book of Revelation, then get caught up deciphering the history and importance of the number 7, and socializing about other RANDOM issues.

AND friends from support groups who email just to check in and see how you’re doing after an dramatic episode that happened recently at the last meeting.

There is so much to be thankful for; I love the support and socialization that I have a chance to participate in, even at times in which I am
questioning my purpose
and feeling very socially isolated,
they help me know that I am not.

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