What is the definition of perfect? Being without flaw? Is that something real to expect?
What is my perception of perfect? Why am I so obsessed with it? The cookie cutter family. Getting everything exactly right. Coloring within the lines; making the best, thinnest, greatest tasting sugar cookies, that are decorated exquisitely. [Sugar cookies are like my “thing“.] The perfect sugar cookies are all so difficult to attain to my brain-injured self. It takes me extra long to do anything and everything, but I stay up hours upon hours trying to make it all “just so”. It takes 3 hours to prepare the perfect sugar cookies, and I only get 26 of them (more depending on the size and shape). By the end of the creation, I am almost too tired to enjoy giving them away.
I seem to remember always being this way; I don’t think that my obsession with perfectionism began just after sustaining a traumatic brain injury, it had to have always been there. It is a possibility that my injury exasperated the desire. Right after my traumatic brain injury, I wanted to show everyone that I was still ok, thereby feeling the need to do everything perfectly. I supose because it was so apparently obvious that I had been in a severe car accident (wheelchair, and intonation of speaking) I had wanted everyone to know that I could still do everything, but I think even more so now that you can’t tell I had ever gotten hurt, I want to make sure everything is perfect.
But not everything must be perfect, I have learned that if I’m not as meticulous about the preparation of the sugar cookies, they don’t take as much time to prepare, it is more relaxing to produce, they taste exactly the same and they are consumed at just the same rate.
Not everything in life always needs to be perfect. And perfect is different to every person. If perfect is somebody who is found physically attractive, an anxious worried frowny face may not be found particularly attractive to anyone at all.
Always remember to stay true to your self; instead of your idea of perfect.
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. ~Confucius, Analects