C’est la Vie

There’s nothing else you can say.  Sometimes life sucks, circumstances suck, but that’s life.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I (of all people) think I know that best.  Sigh, when life gives you lemons make lemonade.

In 1997 there was this awful car accident with a Jeep Cherokee and another car driven by a young guy, speeding around a corner.  The girl in the Jeep was driving a friend home after a cheerleading performance when getting into that car accident on the first Saturday morning after the new school year had started.  The accident put the 16 year old in a comatose state, ‘waking up’ 2 1/2 months later, right before Thanksgiving.  I’m the girl in the Jeep, the young traumatic brain injury survivor.

My car was turning left, past a lane of oncoming traffic when another car came around the corner and didn’t see me in time.  I was told the young driver’s car (the guy was only like 19 years old) slammed into the drivers (my) side and flipped my jeep over.  I had to be cut from the car by the “jaws of life”.  However, I don’t remember, I was unconscious upon impact.  It was only 1030 in the morning, but I do remember some things that happened that day.  I remember that the grass was wet with the early morning dew and the girls who were tops for the stunts had to have the bottoms of their shoes towel dried and be carried around by other cheerleaders.  I remember my friend Jade asking for a ride home and me saying that I wasn’t really allowed to drive with other people in the car yet, and still offering, almost insisting she let me drive her home.  I remember putting on my seatbelt.

Dad, me and Uncle Pat getting some fresh air; October 5, 1997

Dad, me and Uncle Pat getting some fresh air; October 5, 1997

 

After being in the ICU for nearly a month, I was transported to Kluge’s Children’s Rehabilitation Center in Charlottesville, VA.  My parents did not know what to think, the doctors and specialists were telling them everything to I’d never wake up, if I did I’d be a vegetable to I’d be totally fine.  No one knows what to say with a brain injury; the brain is so complex.

Therapy at the hospital would go on all day. I would have physical, occupational, and speech therapy. Counseling with a social worker, School therapy, (where we would work on basic writing, and holding a pencil) and every day I would participate in aquatic (water) therapy.   Even when I was in a comatose state I would lay on a raft, just the movements of the water would be very helpful in regaining my equilibrium.  After I regained consciousness and could stand in an upright position, every day I would get in the pool with therapy to try and get my balance.  In water a person is weightless; just working on the mechanics and the structure of walking (butt in, lift the feet and push the chest forward), I started off holding onto two people, then progressed to one.  I was using a wheelchair to get around from therapy sessions in the hospital.  In physical therapy I was working on stepping at first, with my heels first, but that never worked, I would always tip toe around at first anyway.  A few months later I watched a video of my first attempt at walking and was amazed at how long it took me to walk down the hallway.  In physical therapy I would be a standing box, to get weight my weight spread more evenly onto my heels.  The standing box is a podium on a platform that was boxed in to stand on; there is a condition informally called ‘drop-toe’ or foot drop that happens to people that are unconscious so long and not walking or flexing their feet so the muscles relax and the foot points forward, almost on tiptoes.  I wore casts on my feet/legs to try to keep the feet flexed and was working on shifting my weight to my heels after I “woke up”.

In occupational therapy, the therapist was working on my senses, like olfactory, (smell) by sticking strong smelling herbs in my face while I was in a coma, and I was said to have scrunched up my nose and made faces.  In my Speech therapy we would work on memory, the therapist held up pictures, she showed me a picture of the Washington monument, I answered ‘the big pencil’.  She shook her head no, and my Mom was cracking up in the background saying, “No, that’s what shes always called it.”  I was shown other pictures of common items, and got a lot of them correct, could describe them, but just not think of the word. The speech and language pathologist, Polly showed me a picture of Princess Diana soon after coming out of my coma.  I identified her correctly, and said, but isn’t she dead?  Her car accident had made news only a few weeks before mine.  My memory was very selective, remembering some events, but not others.

me and Katie; November 5, 1997

me and Katie; November 5, 1997

 

Even though life was going on for all of my classmates, they hadn’t forgotten me. ALL my friends were at Fairfax Hospital when I was in the ICU, and a lot of my friends came to visit me in the Rehab hospital in Charlottesville.  Friends from my cheerleading all-star squad, my closest friend and maid of honor (at my wedding 10 years later), the boys on the baseball team at my high school; my hospital room was the place to be on the weekends!  Just kidding, but I did get a lot of visitors.  My room at the hospital was covered in cards, stuffed animals, my cheerleading squad made me a get well banner.

I “woke up” one day while my Dad was helping me with dinner (I had a gastrointestinal tube in my stomach, to give me medication and food but the nurses were working on getting me to ingest food orally), my Dad must have looked another way or gotten up without putting up the gate on the side of my bed, and a split second later, I had rolled on the floor getting a bump on my head.  He hugged me close, and apologized again and again, but I think that fall must have knocked some sense into me, because I remember everything from that day forward.  That must have been a Saturday, because my Dad was with me, he switched off with my Mom who took a leave of absence from work to stay with me during the work week, while my Dad would be at home working and staying with my brother.   On Sunday (I’m assuming), my brother must have traveled up with my mom to the hospital because when he walked in, I was just laughing and laughing.  I swore that it wasn’t really my brother, because he was so big and tall! I asked him what grade he was in (eighth), his age (13) and when he told me this, I started bursting out laughing again because I remembered him as being a short little blond (his hair had turned golden brown as he had gotten older).  I believed he was my brother, I just found the whole situation hilarious!

Springfield All-stars cheerleaders! Robbi, me, Erica and Jade

Springfield All-stars cheerleaders! Robbi, me, Erica and Jade

I was allowed a home pass for Christmas, because I had been one of the patients with the longest stay.  It was great seeing being at home for Christmas that year.  Our family did what we always do- having a “German Weinachten” over at my grandmother’s, dinner and opening presents from Oma and Uncle Pat, and then doing the whole traditional Christmas at home with my parents and brother the next day.

After Christmas at home, everything started to feel real.  Right after I came out of my coma, I was afraid to go to sleep at night because I thought this would all turn into another long dream.  I would fall asleep early, trying to stay up until 9 p.m. when the hospital turned off the phones for the night (sometimes falling asleep before that), and then I’d wake up at a bizarre hour at night, like 3 or 4 am and talk to the nurses or just lay there until my mom came at 7am.  If she was like 2 or 3 minutes past 7, I’d tease her and say that she’s late.  But after that Christmas break, I could sleep through the night.  I knew it was all real then.  Life is real, life is happening.   Life goes on, and sometimes we can be very thankful for that life.

C’est la Vie- That’s life and that’s how it’s gonna be; it just matters what you do with that life.  No matter if it’s your first chance or second.  Let’s take that opportunity to do something important and worthwhile.  Follow your passions, tomorrow is not an absolute guarantee.

My passion of helping others emerged from my accident, and I want to help others in similar situations.  I know how hard it is to be in the hospital, a rehab center or a nursing home with nothing fun to do but the free time activities.  I started looking into schools with Therapeutic Recreation programs and found Longwood University to have the best program in the state.  Close to home, but just far enough away to where I could feel independent, which is something that I definitely needed at that time in my life. I was in the process of growing up, yet I still needed support from just having recovered from a life-changing car accident.  The Academic Support Center at Longwood is wonderful, was located directly across the street from my dorm building and the staff almost felt like a second family.  I would spend many hours there getting help with my classes or just to have a safe haven in which to come and study.  When visiting campus, I fell in love with the size and friendly atmosphere, and I just knew that I had made the best decision of my life in attending.

 

About Danielle!

A young professional Longwood University alum, with a traumatic brain injury having previously worked in the Therapeutic Recreation field with the elderly at nursing homes in Fairfax, VA. Now as a TBI advocate, trying to help others learn more about TBIs is involved in support groups, as well as very involved in my church.
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26 Responses to C’est la Vie

  1. Jen Foster says:

    Danielle, this is beautiful & heart-wrenching. Thank you so much for sharing your story & the lessons learned. I’m so glad to have gotten to know you.

  2. bornh says:

    You are a true inspiration, Danielle! I second that thank you for sharing. 🙂

  3. Katie Drohan says:

    This was so well written, Danielle. It’s so hard to believe your accident was in 1997. You are so incredibly brave and strong and have come so far. I remember how hard you worked in all your different therapies those first couple years. You truly are an inspiration. The big pencil story still makes me laugh because that is so you and your personality and sense of humor. I remember talking to you on the phone for the very first time after you woke up. You said, “I love you and I miss you” over and over in this soft whisper. I had never been so happy to hear someone’s voice on the other end of the phone. After a week or two you started asking where your pager was and that’s when I knew everything was going to be fine 🙂 I love you. xoxo

  4. Danielle, you are so right when you said, “… tomorrow is not an absolute guarantee.” More people should realize that. I wonder if we/they did, if the world wouldn’t be a nicer place. I am so glad you are making lemonade.

    Donna O’Donnell Figurski
    survivingtraumaticbraininjury.wordpress.com
    donnaodonnellfigurski.wordpress.com

  5. Kristin Russo says:

    Truly inspirational sweetheart. You are truly a survivor and I’m so blessed you made it and became a part of my life! Love youuuu!

  6. I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do
    it for you? Plz respond as I’m looking to create my own blog and
    would like to know where u got this from. thanks
    a lot

    • Danielle! says:

      Hey! Totally excited that you like my site- didn’t pay anyone, absolutely free, just when you set up a site, it’ll ask you to go to Appearance in your Dashboard–> Theme. Narrow it down to ‘free’ themes, and pick a template, and you can switch themes as many times as you like- mine changed constantly for a while till i found one I liked- its the twenty-ten theme- and then you select the backdrop you like. I stuck with the basic colors- if you want different colors you have to pay for it and when i started blogging- I wasn’t sure how serious I’d be- but i like blogging, and was looking for a way to get my reaction to my car accident out there. Then there are all these widgets that you can select (under Appearance); and just play around with it- and I get The Daily Post from this moderator- Ben Huberman- who tells about this stuff for setting up a more efficient blog site. Thanks again for liking my site!!

  7. Pingback: Scrambled Brain Challenge! | Inside Danielle's mind

  8. Tucker Tough says:

    So happy I met you today Danielle! I expected an amazing story and of course your is beyond amazing! Love your body and your brain, every day!

  9. Pingback: “That’s life and that’s how it’s gonna be; it just matters what you do with that life. No matter if it’s your first chance or second. Let’s take that opportunity to do something that really matters. Follow your passions, tomorrow is not an

  10. amandadelude says:

    Reblogged this on lifeafterbraininjury and commented:
    Our injuries happened 15 years apart… but I can totally relate and I 100% agree. Tomorrow is never promised… cherish every day.

  11. Jackie Gentile says:

    Hi Danelle- I am a “newbe” and you have truely inspired me. My brain injury occurred 2 months ago and I’m still learning about it. Keep up you amazin work – Fondly, Jackie

  12. New Journey says:

    Danielle, wow, I am so glad that you had the courage and support to move on and become a beautiful, successful women…thank you for sharing your journey with is…I will never look at a picture of the Wn. Monument without think of you and your pencil story…your a very special women and I am so proud to say that I came across your blog and know that your playing it forward in the world and helping those in need….Blessed be…

  13. Gwen says:

    Danielle,
    Loved reading the details and getting your perspective on what happened. God is good…you are a beautiful Image-bearer of His and have taken an event, sad, tragic, painful and refused to let it define you . I ALWAYS enjoy seeing you and love your upbeat, positive approach to life! You are a CAN-DO lady. You and Matt should come visit us in San Diego! Love, A. Gwen

  14. Danielle, i’m really inspired by your story, and especially by your perception of the experience. it must have been indescribably challenging for you, and even your family, but i’m more excited about the fact that you’re still standing and facing life like an eagle, that brings so much hope. i’m glad you chose to make it, and you did . I must add that God is indeed very good, as Gwen said, and i’m grateful to Him for keeping you thus far. Thanks for shARing
    Fola..

  15. Reblogged this on Summer-Ice World and commented:
    Life can be really amazing and indeed challenging, you really can’t tell the surprises it holds for you each day. The best you can do, is have Faith and do your Best.
    Read Danielle’s life story, how she survived an almost fatal accident that left her in coma for a long while.

  16. Pingback: why? | Inside Danielle's mind

  17. Becky L says:

    Wonderful post, Danielle. Are you familiar with this site? http://www.brainline.org
    They may be interested in your story. Hugs, Mrs. L

  18. Pingback: What doesn’t kill you… | Inside Danielle's mind

  19. emlee36 says:

    That was so well written Danielle! I am inspired by your positivity. You are such a beautiful person inside and out!

  20. Vanessa Stirling says:

    Hi Danielle. We randomly started talking at Starbucks in Burke, and I wanted to read more about your story. Thank you for sharing your story, and I wish you the best of luck with your book.

    • Danielle! says:

      Vanessa, Thank you for your kind words! I’m excited that you actually checked out my site and are interested in what was happening with me. It means a lot to me that people are actually interested in my story. Thank you from the bottom off my heart!

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