Regular cup o’ joe


DD coffee;Flickr, m01229

A Dunkin’ Donuts pumpkin coffee actually…with a pumpkin donut… a MUST to go all seasonal with the fall themed weather, changing of the leaves, the brisk temperature

The scene: a cozy Dunkin’ Donuts coffee shop, with a friend who is 15 years older than I, and another friend 25 years older, meeting before a TBI support group; these friends’ all have different perspectives and are in different stages of life.
The conversation starts with talk of how they’re doing, how each has been feeling.  The youngest is in a ‘paused’ stage in her life.  She knows that people with a TBI are able, we can do it, it’s all in the state of mind.

Over coffee, the older woman would beg to differ with you.  She talks of how it is so nice that we can get together and relate, know what it feels like and understand each other.  She’s getting a disability check each month and living with her mother.  When we were asked to make goals in group a few months back, she said she had none.  She states that she’s totally content with where she is at this very moment, where she is in life with having no real purpose other than to hang out with her boyfriend, her mother and to volunteer at the hospital where our group is held.
There is always a purpose in a healthy, fully functional life.

The other man works in a grocery store, lives with his sister, and moved to VA from FL because his lawyer is here.  He’s trying to get paid a monthly disability check also.

Although my opinions differ from them, I am present to show them my support.  Plus, as organizer of the Prayer Shawl Ministry at my church, I had baby blankets crocheted by members to donate to the newborn babies on the high-risk pregnancy unit, and the support meetings take place at Fairfax hospital.

I am an aspiring author, who just happens to have a traumatic brain injury but I am so much more identifiable than by just my injury; my injury is not who I am, it does not define me.  I am capable of holding down a job, I have done so for 9 years.   Sure, I get anxious at the thought of working again, and am not sure which path in life I would want to take, but I am fortunate that I have time to figure that out, and the ability to write (my husband would want to say that I’m a housewife, to my chagrin; upon being corrected many times he now calls me a writer).  [I am fortunate that I have a wonderful husband, a great home, and I take care of a loving doggie.  I see many friends and have weekly family dinners with each of our parents and brothers’ families.]

Over coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts, (it’s just central to our houses and on the way) my TBI support group friends would share the troubles that we’re having, tactics that have been working for us amiss our struggles and what we do with the pent-up energy.  Scripture verses are shared, and lessons learned from Bible studies to help control anxiety, worry and other things on our minds.  Looking towards God always seems to change perspectives into a more hopeful outlook.  It’s all about the perspective that a person has, an outlook and a state of mind.  You make the decision in the morning to wake up happy, set an intention for the day that you CAN do whatever you need to and whatever comes your way.  That is inspired by God, and something no one else has the power to control except for yourself.  Go into the sunshine, have some coffee and remember to pick yourself up.


photo taken Flickr; Kristina Alexanderson

Writing 101; Assignment 10- update over a cup of coffee

About Danielle!

A young professional Longwood University alum, with a traumatic brain injury having previously worked in the Therapeutic Recreation field with the elderly at nursing homes in Fairfax, VA. Now as a TBI advocate, trying to help others learn more about TBIs is involved in support groups, as well as very involved in my church, child care, and working part-time at a library
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5 Responses to Regular cup o’ joe

  1. John Yeo says:

    I love dunking doughnuts ~ This is a very inspiring piece of work ~My doughnuts drip sometimes, but they still taste good ~ You are a very good Writer ~ Well done ~

  2. rosemawrites says:

    Thank you for sharing this updates! 🙂

  3. roshendalal says:

    An inspiring and interesting post.

  4. artseafartsea says:

    Sounds like you have an interesting group and of course it is always better over a cuppa and a donut.

  5. Lauretta W. says:

    I have been verbally affirming my intentions before work the last couple of mornings and I have been having some terrific work days. It could just be a lull in our ER traffic, but I’m going to keep doing it to see if it has an impact long-term. I think that it will based on some research that says when we set attainable goals for ourselves and accomplish them, we get a lot more satisfaction out of life and feel more emotionally successful. Prayer is important for our souls, but I think verbal affirmations may be important for our psyches. I wonder if this will have any impact on my personality. Only time will tell…
    Perhaps you could share this with your “satisfied” TBI cohorts and see if this changes their minds about their purposes in life. Otherwise, they may just need some other reminder of what else there is to occupy us in life besides just enjoying being healthy. After all, as Christians, we believe we have a Godly purpose on this earth.

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