WHAT DID I DO?

To write, or not to write….
I think we all truly know that is the question.

When I’m feelin’ it- I’m feelin’ it: the house is quiet except for Meghan Trainor coming from my phone.

That reminds me, my phone…where is my phone?   Why is it turned off?…  Why am I wearing uncomfortable jeans? Why do I only find another totally full glass of water standing on the other side of the room after I make another? [In the other cute palm tree cup]  Why did I just call my husband, there was something I needed to tell him…I THINK.

WRITER’S BLOCK.

I take a walk whenever I start feeling like this. 

Feeling sick to your stomach thinking if you continue to sit at the laptop and check facebook, or pinterest one more time,  you’ll puke.

And then you start to think about making dinner.  The real world set in, the phone rings, “Honey, I’m comin’ home” on the other line.  What? Where did this day go?  It started out productively, early this morning, when the dog dragged me down the sidewalk for a walk.  Then it was mad, quick cleaning…yes, I think back to this morning and remember I still have wet laundry in the washer.

My anxiety.  It all comes back to that.  I got overwhelmed thinking off all the assignments I have yet to complete in this free writing/blogging class I’m taking online and sit for 2 hours reading little blurbs/trying to think of a witty response… and nothing.
Where did the day go?  What was I doing?

LAUNDRY.
MATCHING DISHTOWELS.
PICKING UP SO I DON’T LOOK LIKE A TOTAL SLOB TO THE ABSOLUTE STRANGER COMING IN TO CHECK THE HEATING SYSTEM.
PLAYING WITH CHAZZ.
SORTING THROUGH COFFEE CUPS TO DONATE FOR THE CHURCH BAZAAR.
MAKING A MENTAL CHECKLIST IN  MY MIND; IMPORTANT DATES OF DEADLINES BOUNCING AROUND IN MY HEAD- TRYING TO RECORD THEM IN A CUTE AGENDA COLORING BOOK. Yes, an ADULT coloring book, to relieve stress apparently.
Oh CROCHETING!  Yes, I’m trying a new stitch and this takes full concentration.  My first meeting of the Prayer Shawl Ministry at my church is tomorrow, and it’s the first one that I’m leading completely by myself.  Well I’ve lead many other times by myself, but this time the other 2 ladies that were helping have ‘backed away’ from the ministry.  I have a key to the room now, and that makes me feel like I’m responsible…Crocheting on my Days of our Lives lunch break…turned on my laptop and got distressed trying to do the other day’s assignments.
Don’t forget about Chazz…

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Thinking maybe it’s a good thing that I’ve already earned my degree and don’t have to go back to school.

That’s what I did today, but on other unproductive days, I like baking just to produce something and say, ‘I’ve done THIS with my time!’

I say that I’m a writer, trying to create my memoir.  I haven’t done anything with that memoir since the beginning of last month.  I always put it off.  Like, even this, I’ll write my memoir after I finish this Writing 101 class, or then I’ll just need to finish moping the floors, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning kitchen, bathrooms, and then it all repeats in a vicious cycle.  What?  And what about finding a job?  I’ll do that AFTER.  AFTER I fulfill my dreams of writing my experiences in my memoir.

Writing 101; Assignment #11

About Danielle!

A young professional Longwood University alum, with a traumatic brain injury having previously worked in the Therapeutic Recreation field with the elderly at nursing homes in Fairfax, VA. Now as a TBI advocate, trying to help others learn more about TBIs is involved in support groups, as well as very involved in my church.
Aside | This entry was posted in inner reflection and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to WHAT DID I DO?

  1. A great post – I can relate to the list of things you do when the words just won’t come…

  2. rosemawrites says:

    Those activities are I think, idea-inducing. Thank you for sharing this!

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