Springfield All-stars 1996

Posted on April 25, 2014 by Danielle!

Springfirld All-stars 1996

DisneyWorld Florida, before the UCA competition

On aging…

While working at the nursing home tonight, I was talking to some ladies, and wanted to center a blog on it, only I can’t remember exactly what was said.  It was really funny though.  It was something about still laughing to know that you’re still living…and it was so silly!  We were all cracking up and sitting close like a throw-back to high school.  High school, so long back ago.

It makes me feel so old.

On Facebook my friend that was on my all-star cheerleading squad posted a picture of a much sassier, prettier me, wearing Minnie Mouse ears in DisneyWorld before a competition in Florida.  Pre-car accident, and it feels like a whole other life to me.  It was a whole other life, over half my lifetime has past since that picture was taken, (if that makes sense) The picture was taken 17 years ago, (I was 16 when I was in that life changing accident) and I am 33 years old now.  Forever ago, right?

I look at those high school cheerleading years as my “glory days”.  I miss them, when I had it all, lots of friends, lots of social life, before I got old and before my car accident.  Not only was I on the high school team, but also that Competition squad that was in the picture.  My accident aged me, I felt when I was back in school the following year that I had so much more knowledge about what was really important than what the ‘normal kids’  had at that time in their lives.  I’ll admit it, before my car accident I was caught up in all those high school things, like writing down what I wore each day to school so as not to ‘repeat an outfit’ in like 3 weeks time.  But afterwards, I had to concentrate on WALKING, and how to actually learn, instead of balancing my cheerleading practices, homework, and long phone conversations.

When I returned to school a year later, I felt like I was actually 27 instead of 17.  Like I had so much more life experience, and couldn’t really relate to everything my senior friends were talking about.  They were talking about what happened over the weekend, and I didn’t really ‘go out’.  Sure I went out with all my senior friends for ice cream in Old Towne Alexandria in the beginning of when i got home, but I couldn’t really ‘walk around old town’ or really drive around hoping in and out of the car, from one friends house to another.  And the football games.  A Friday night ritual that everyone would go to.  Where you’d see all your friends, it was just like an extension of the school day.  But this was different- I wasn’t on the track, doing cheers, I had to be in the stands.  And with my physical limitations, I was walking with under arm crutches, (my Psychical Therapist thought it would look more high school “normal” like I just had an athletic injury, like a sprained ankle or something) and in actuality, the under the arm crutches did provide more mobility than a walker, that i was using before school started.   Although it made bleachers really tough.  Not only did I have the issue of watching where I step and making wide steps, but i also had a balance issue, with no free hands to grab onto anyone.  So I stopped going to games.  It was too hard to climb up that big hill and run around trying to socialize with everyone.  I felt old physically, as well as beyond my years with the social talk.  I ended up spending many of my weekend nights at home with my parents.

It made me feel so old.

Plus, all this back/shoulder pain I’ve currently been experiencing… my yoga teacher is giving me exercises to relieve this built-up tension from stress, but it does make me realize that my aging body isn’t as limber as it used to be  .And now, out for my morning athletic walks with my dog (after he does his business) I would see other middle aged women doing their morning walks.  But I tell myself that I am different, I’m walking my dog and listening to my music, admiring the beautiful spring landscape that is set out before me.  I hope not to reach middle age for another 10 years.  Look at this though, when my mom was my age, I was already like 6 years old.  Makes me again feel old.

I guess aging is just one of those inevitable things, something that we can never change.  And you will never be as young as you were at this present moment.  So appreciate every moment that you have today, because you can’t ever get today back.  Enjoy each day of living today as much as you possibly can.  As long as you’re still laughing, you know that you’re still living and as long as you’re still living, you should still be laughing.

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A Purpose in Life

Posted on April 23, 2014 by Danielle!

Recovering from suffering is not like recovering from a disease. Many people don’t come out healed; they come out different.

-‘What Suffering Does’ by David Brooks (Opinion column in New York Times) April 7, 2014

In life, there are many events that happen to add to a person’s stress level, amongst them being the loss of one’s job.  I did not lose my job, although I do have to adjust my life in a way that I am better able to manage my free time, which recently has become much more plentiful.  

The above quote could pretty much apply to more serious events that have occurred in my life, although my mind is currently on discovering a purpose for myself, and how to handle the day to day tasks of life.  With purpose; I need to chose a purpose or direction, and come out changed from the suffering.

I have started attending yoga classes around 2 years ago, when we my husband and I bought a townhouse in Burke Centre.  There are classes held in the community center right next to the pool, and up the street from my house.  You can walk along this path at the end of my street and  boom, there you are running into this old plantation style house in which is called the Woods Community Center where the class is held. There are a lot of nice walking trails in Burke Centre.  And what a beautiful day it is!  So, with purpose, I woke at 7ish, fed, played and let the dog out in the backyard, and then jumped in the shower.  I went walking with my dog for a glorious 30 minutes through the neighborhood all while listening to the tunes of Lily Allen bursting through the headphones from my phone.  And I got a cool new smartphone like everyone else has! (For years, I have resisted going the smartphone way and having the good dependable phone only for calling and texting; citing a smartphone as too much of a procrastination tool;  I reasoned I have tablet, and I can use that to read, surf the ‘web’, and Facebook in my down time at home.  But while vacationing in Florida with my parents, I got addicted to their phones.  Primarily, I thought I get so many emails and its always a pain to sit down at a computer and read them all, and that takes up a lot of my free time in itself. And decided to take the plunge into the technologically adapt world in which we currently live.)  Upon returning from my walk, it was almost time for my yoga class.

I love this whole yoga thing.  Yoga is a state of mind.  Maybe that could be my philosophy to my purpose in my life currently.  The purpose could be self improvement.  Self improvement by doing exactly what I stated before, through gardening (the new fence is up, so let the flowers begin!) through health consciousness, [i.e. walking, regular yoga practice, GOING TO THE POOL WHEN IT FINALLY OPENS!] intellectually [through reading books, and articles, blogging], taking care of my Chazz-y dog and I can’t forget first and foremost loving my residents when I do come in to work!

So I am defined as a loving, appreciative person.  With lots of things to acknowledge other than “what I do” (occupationally) in life.  It’s time to take a break, have fun, appreciate the beauty of nature and pay attention to my family.  Perhaps I could even try to cook…

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Motivation!

Posted on April 17, 2014 by Danielle!

Even the longest journey begins with a single step.

-E.J. Dimera (Days of Our Lives)

I have kept saying that I should write a book, about my life experiences, because in these 33 years that I have been a person, many more experiences have happened to me than to most people my age.  The problem has always been the motivation, I kept using the excuse of “not enough time”.  The idea of recording my life experiences hit me in college.  That was my first excuse, as soon as I complete school, I can write my book.  I graduated with a degree in Therapeutic Recreation, but then I wasn’t motivated to write my book and found a job.  That was nearly 9 years ago, and I have worked in the same nursing home ever since.  I have a part time job, when I first started I was working 5 days a week, for only 6 hours a day.  My schedule was wacky, on the Special Care Unit, in activities, we were under the same category as the nurses, with an inconsistent, work 2 weekends a month in no particular order schedule, with 2 days off during the week, maybe a Tuesday and the next day Wednesday, with sometimes working 6 days in a row!  But for the past 3 years, on second floor we have been under the main Activity Director supervising us.  She gives us every other weekend and the same weekdays off.  As I was all stressed out before my wedding 6 years ago, I went down to working 4 days a week to prevent further anxiety attacks.  Hm, it worked, I just used my off days to sleep mostly.  And working I thus continued.  I found my career path working on the Special Care Unit of the nursing home.  I want to help others in an unfortunate situation; although these residents are severely affected by Alzheimer’s type dementia, or another form of dementia, or just difficult to care for, I think that I can make these individuals quality of life’s a better while they are with us.

However, this did nothing for the motivation of taking care of myself.  If anything, MY quality of life was inhibited, suffering from the anxiety of trying to handle life and at the same time dedicate most of my days to the residents.  I continue to occasionally wake up with a Frank Sinatra song (hey, at least HE’S not that bad!) or another song from the 1940s or ’50s in my head, or having a dream in which a resident on my floor of the nursing home randomly appears.  I recently got semi-laid off (almost, but not really) scheduled to work every other weekend, and every other Monday and every other Friday.

I was crushed when I heard the news about my reduced schedule 3 weeks ago, because ever since graduating college from Longwood University in Farmville Virginia, I have defined myself solely by my job.  Helping others was what I “do”.  Now I am searching for a new definition.

I know if any of my co-workers look at this, they would be making “Pshah” noises and saying I only worked part time before, this is just a shortened version of part-time.  Only it doesn’t feel that way.  I put my all into my work, and actually concentrate on new arts and crafts programs that we could do, looking on Pinterest and getting signed up to all those Therapeutic Recreation/Activity professionals groups on Facebook [OUTSIDE of work].  I have worked at this nursing home the longest than any other Activities person.  I feel like second floor is ‘my’ floor, and I am the one who cares the most about the residents residing on the Special Care Unit.  I may make activities ‘funner’ than the other workers there, with all my positive uplifting energy, but who am I kidding, the residents certainly wouldn’t remember it, although the family members might.

I’ve been trying to do constructive tasks, like now I’m taking 2 yoga classes weekly, I can finally say that I’ve started this blog, and since the weather will be getting nicer, there’s always the pool and I can try my hand at gardening.  This ‘glorified housewife’ thing may actually be a good move.  I can explore other areas at which I can create enjoyment for myself.   The possibilities are endless, and the road’s wide open.

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