We all need friends. Friends to be there in the joyous times,
and friends to comfort in rough situations.
In the bad times, it’s those friends who are there for you in your times of hardship, when other people have forgotten, or have been too busy living their own lives.
20 years is a long time, and I had thought that I had moved on, I was so young after all. I don’t even know if we knew the meaning of all that was happening at only 16 in high school, but I can’t seem to get over it. I need to let the band-aid keep its cover over it, so it fully heals, consider all the wonderful things that are currently have in my life, and let go of the past. Just get over it- leave it alone and let it be. Get over the ‘poor me’ stage, I didn’t have a close group of friends from high school- so what? My one close friend from high school that I still have told me that I can be thankful that I did have 2 great years, my freshman and sophomore… I missed my whole junior year, and when I came back to (what was supposed to be) my senior year, I couldn’t relate or hang out with my old friends, so I had to find new friends in the younger class.
And that’s okay, it just prepared me for making new friends in the later stages of life. And as we get older the further away our youth becomes. Mostly people grow up, and get wrapped in their own families, and get together with neighbors or coworkers.
I awoke with a jolt.
There was a was a fearful gasp in my throat. Not cool, I thought when I was conscious enough to recognize it as my own. In my dream, I recognized the very end of summer before the accident and felt reminiscent of the empty pool and high school football games. I saw the boys congregating together in the hallways while I would pass the older girls looking with judgement as I walk by.
My past is in my past. And that is where it should stay. I’m going to stop writing this dumb story of my sad life, even though it has a kick-ass ending.
Stop writing about the stupid people, that this insecure little 17 year old couldn’t stand up to or with, start writing about MY story of MY perseverance and achievements. At least that’s the plan for now, wish me luck!
I came across this quote today that really resonates with me, it seems as if I’m always searching. Searching for supreme happiness, or always waiting for the next shoe to drop.
I won’t let myself fully embrace the happiness and wonderfulness that is currently present, that is there and allow myself to enjoy it because I know how fleeting it all can be, how easily everything can stop on a dime and suddenly turn the other way. Fleeting…think about it, everything is easily fading. Anyone can be forgotten and fade into the background, just like wallpaper. If you stay still long enough, most people just forget. Either forget or you turn into a fond memory and are like, ‘what about that guy?…’ what is true in life? Will there ever be anyone left standing and waiting after a terrible car accident takes the cheerleader right out of her sneakers only leaving behind nothing more than a megaphone? Which are actually only memories of a time long ago, a time before everyone got too busy developing adult lives to realize that you’ve been left behind.
But being left behind isn’t so bad. Sometimes when you are “left behind” you actually get a chance to move forward and turn your life into something much better than you’ve every imagined it to be.
Today is a free day. No plans, perfect to get working, right?
Ya, except this is one thing that would never naturally occur to me. Instead, I have to have inspiration in the form of a friend to come over and tell me to get to it. My main job right now is finishing my memoir, but I’d rather procrastinate by working on journals, crocheting, or anything else.
I AM THANKFUL FOR MY FRIEND who came over to relax and knit, then left for work telling me to get my head where it should be, IN A BOOK. my book specifically,
leaving me listening to Shania Twain’s new CD, NOW
and with a bit cup of coffee [and more in the pot]
I AM THANKFUL FOR A HUSBAND TO SET ME STRAIGHT. And tell me to ice my hip when I’m complaining it hurts from walking around too much.
GET TO IT- STOP COMPLAINING- and get to work!
NO EXCUSES… get that nose to the grindstone!
…I maybe wasn’t even supposed to write a blog post…maybe
Yes, I still make them.
We can make a mistake, realize it, and learn from it.
Or we can pout.
Maybe a little of both, but we always learn from our bad judgement calls.
One that I just experienced last night; I have always tried to be a good wife. Lately I have tried to be a very exceptional wife, being that now I work from home, writing and taking care of our little doggie. When I had a PT appointment yesterday afternoon, my husband assumed that I would be going to dinner with my Mom, while I assumed I needed to be back at home making dinner because hey, my husband has to eat also, and since I am trying to be such a good wife- I should cook, right? Oops- that apparently wasn’t the plan. Matt went out for pizza with his coworkers to watch the Nats game, and came home at like 730.
At least there’s a lesson that can be learned from it…
…..wait, what was the lesson?
Maybe I should be focusing on myself rather than trying so hard to be considerate.
At least Matt was considerate enough to bring home some pizza.